Still Waiting
Waiting seems to be somewhat of a theme in my life right now. The other night I grew impatient as my ipad took far too long (over an hour) to connect to the internet at home. I know that wi fi connection is far from a major crisis, but I was irritated. I'm waiting to hear from the Lord for life decisions, I'm waiting on other people, I'm waiting to be done with this 30 day cleanse my roommates and I are doing so I can drink good coffee and eat the treats from America my mom sent... clearly our finicky internet signal was just too much to handle. Jessareh and I sat at the kitchen table working on our homework together and, while not completely serious, I made some remark about the stupid internet taking forever and it finally hit me: "Ohhh, I think I get it. I'm probably supposed to practice patience right now. Clearly, there's something God wants me to learn here." I love those moments. So humbling. While the lack of wi fi is what put me over the edge, and as silly as that sounds, the Lord used it to open my eyes. It's not just about receiving direction for my next life step-- it's about my willingness to trust Him patiently every day, no matter how long it takes.
Another word for patience is 'long-suffering'... even if the suffering is long, will I choose to trust the goodness of the Lord? David understood this suffering as he sought God in a time of questioning: "My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guide my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you." Psalm 25:15-20
"The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts'." Isaiah 55:8-9
Waiting Still
Since first hearing from the Lord a couple weeks ago in Spain that I need to simply be okay with waiting for now, I've had moments - or even multiple days in a row! - of truly resting in Him, even in my lack of decision or direction. But one little thought will tick and I fall right into worry and fear and discontentment. Doesn't He know I have a deadline? What if what I hope for doesn't happen -- is my heart even ready for whatever you have, Lord? Maybe I just need more information to put the details together and figure it all out (not always, but definitely CAN be me trying to take things into my own hands before the right time)? I want to know right now; I feel insecure in the 'not knowing' stage (sign of LACK of trust).
What is the posture of my heart while waiting?
Patient or irritated?
Surrendered or controlling?
Joyful or distraught?
Trusting or fearful?
My desire is to be patient, surrendered, joyful & trusting as I am completely still before the Lord.
"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light." Colossians 1:11-12
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
I trust God that as I wait He will strengthen my heart and increase my faith.
Your messages are always of great encouragement and challenge to me!
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