Waiting -- and what I'm learning in the process

There's always something new coming. Sometimes we get a longer "settled" time in between next steps, but the seasons of life are constantly in motion, always anticipating the next thing. Even when it's hard, it's good, because growth comes from change. And change is constant.

Preparation for these next steps always include a series of decisions. 
What will I do? How will I do it? Who do I want to be? 

People often get hung up on the decision making part of change. I've experienced a lot of different seasons of change over the last seven years and I've learned a LOT about myself in these decision making processes. A month ago, I think I felt like I had nearly perfected the process. (Funny, right!)

I sat down in a coffee shop on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, Scotland with a couple hours available to ask myself a lot of questions, make a few pros/cons lists, and just like that, leave with a decision in place. (Sometimes I crack myself up.) Well, I did leave with somewhat of a decision. It was a "this is what I want to do, but I'm not going to declare it to the world yet" kind of decision. Even still, I felt confident, peaceful, and figured I would just keep moving forward and see what happened. 

Then I left Edinburgh for the Eastern Europe/Russia staff conference, which was ALL ABOUT VISION, and immediately thought, how could I ever leave this place. CLEARLY, God is moving. My heart was so motivated by hearing all the stories of students grasping hold of the vision of seeing every student on their campuses have the opportunity to hear about the hope they have in Jesus. And I couldn't help but think, at the next conference, there will be a student telling a story about how God changed OUR campus. I want to be a part of that!

All of one week after my methodical decision making system, I suddenly felt like I took ten steps backward. I started to question my motives, which are often buried so far beneath the surface it takes some work (and prayer) to dig them up. 

After the staff conference, I went to Spain for the STINT conference. I spent a morning with God sitting under a palm tree next to the Mediterranean sea -- a pretty ideal setting! My plan was to bring all of my new questions and concerns to the Lord and... just try to listen really, really hard. :)

I read through Psalms 103-108 and soaked up all of the reminders of the Lord's steadfastness and faithfulness. After that, I just felt peace in waiting. Just wait, no other clear directions. At the right time, you will know what to do. It will be clear when and how to decide. Be excited to watch the Lord's plan unfold. This is a part of the adventure -- expect GREAT things!

I think sometimes waiting is the most holy thing you can do. It's how you react in not having all the answers that makes the difference. Sometimes when I don't have all the answers I'm tempted to just make them up and blaze my own trail. But in the waiting seasons I get to learn about surrender and trust. 

I will praise you while I wait, Lord. I pray that the whole of my life brings You glory in each season. When I know only a little and when I know much more, help me to honor You. Give me confidence in the waiting. Make my uncertainty completely certain because I am not waiting on one who is unstable, weak, or indifferent.

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take 

courage; wait for the Lord! - Psalm 27:14

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God 

of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. - Psalm 25:15

Hiking in Edinburgh, Scotland