Peace in Letting Go

In several different ways, I'm learning to let go of my "best" for something immeasurably and incomprehensibly better. Better than my best. We don't even think it's possible for there to be anything better then the best, until we see God in action. As His plan unfolds before my eyes my excitement continues to grow and my eyes widen in wonder... I could have never seen this one coming! Oh, but He knew all along. And He planned for it. And He prepared me for it, whether I knew it or not. Every day, each task, is training ground for what comes next. Whether it's learning to rest in His presence, enjoy the blessings of life, trust Him in all things, love our neighbors, walk in integrity, choose to be full of joy, etc.

Even in the mundane. A day like today, where I have specific time set aside to pursue Jesus and my own spiritual growth. But here I sit in a coffee shop with a really bad cup of coffee and continue to grow frustrated because I can't think of what to write. Or I can think of too much to write and there's just no room - or words - for all of it. (Meaning, you might need to just bear with me in this "all over the place" kind of post.) But what do I do with that mundane-ness of today? Is this a waste? No. It's a small way that I can choose to let go of my expectations of the ideal day and remember that what God has for me today is much greater than whatever I conjure up on my own. He has the foresight to see what I really need. 

This morning I kept praying: Lord, what do you want me to focus on? What do you want me to learn? 

Let it be. I don't need to manipulate my life to make it look the way I think it should, because God always trumps my best. His reality exceeds my expectations, every single time. Even when I think "well, that was just ok" or "that wasn't what I had in mind", all it takes is quieting my own thoughts, turning toward truth, and I can see that God had everything under control the whole time and there is PURPOSE. He does not turn away from those who seek Him (Psalm 9:10; Matthew 7:7-8; Hosea 6:3). When we ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit, the result is an abundance of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). When we pray for wisdom, we must believe we will receive it (James 1:5-6). I can't be enough on my own. I can't be the best on my own. But I can just let it be what it is and trust that when I turn toward Jesus, He's already got a plan and in His faithfulness, He provides what I need.

How often do we go into a season of life (or even a portion of the day) with set expectations and end up disappointed when those things fall to pieces? It's not bad to have expectations, by any means, it's more about what we do with those expectations and how we respond when the results aren't what we hoped for. People fall all across the spectrum when it comes to this. Personally, I tend to land on the "please don't change my comfortable routine" end of the spectrum and have to pray for a load of flexibility and patience constantly. If I didn't have Jesus in my life I think I would fall apart whenever change approached. But I do have Jesus in my life and I've learned so much of my desperate need to rely on Him, place my trust in Him completely, and find my identity solely in Him. Jesus is my source of strength and He is the One whose plan I want to be in the middle of… not my own. Or the plan of the people around me. 

It's almost comical (probably just for me) to look back over the last several years and acknowledge the constant change in my life, despite my innate nature to run and hide. Also to acknowledge that this is far from what I thought my life would look like. Essentially nothing that has happened since high school was in my original plan for my life -- THANK THE GOOD LORD! Everything from my major in college (initially psychology) and where I went to college to even the country I currently live in, have all changed. And I'm so thankful for that, because it's another reminder to let go of what I thought was best and rest in the arms of my Heavenly Father who's definition of best isn't even in the same dictionary as mine. Why do we keep turning back to what is SECOND best when God's best is the only thing that truly satisfies? 

Today I'm reminded that when I am restless and discontent, I need to let go of my own expectations and wait on the Lord. My life, and this day, don't have to look the way that I think they should. In fact, from my own experience, I don't even WANT them to look like that. I want what Jesus wants. Therefore, I will live each moment surrendered to Him. I know that contentment and peace come from letting go of my expectations (and fears, plans, ideas of perfection, and other idols in my life) and enjoying the new and exciting unexpected adventures that come. 

"I'm restless until I rest in You." - Audrey Assad.

I'm just overwhelmed today that Jesus knows my heart so intimately. I'm overwhelmed by the ways that He is using me in Russia and how He is teaching me to walk closely with Him in Truth. I'm overwhelmed by the extraordinary blessing of the people He's put in my life. My heart is so full. 

There's No Success in People-Pleasing

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. 

I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." 

I say of the holy people who are in the land, "They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight." Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips. 

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. 

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16

I remember lying on our living room floor recounting all the woes of fifth grade drama to my mom, who graciously listened and responded with an important life lesson: "Kailene, you can't be best friends with everyone." Oh how that broke my heart because even in my eleven year old mind I just wanted to make everybody happy and ensure that I was well liked. This is a thread that unfortunately has been woven into how I make decisions and how I view myself. On the outside it seems pretty nice; it's okay to be liked by people. In reality, this people-pleasing mentality is actually a destructive trap that distorts how we view God, ourselves, and others. How often do we feel "stuck" in a decision as a result of overly caring what others will think?

This is not to discredit godly wisdom from other people you trust. Proverbs talks a lot about the value of seeking counsel prior to making plans. The problem lies in putting more weight in what people think than where God directs, or in making a decision solely based on the desire to please people.

This is a theme that has come up several times in the past couple of weeks for me. While I know that I've had this subtle tendency to seek the approval of others for a long time, I also know it is an area that I've grown significantly in over the years. But when big decisions arise, this tendency often creeps up to the forefront of my mind. I have this underlying fear of doing something "wrong" and upsetting people I care about. This is where the trap comes in, from a few different directions...

1. You can never make everyone happy, NOR is that your responsibility. I care about people, but I am not responsible for their happiness. This has been a hard one for me to accept. If I have three options to choose from in making a major life decision, there will probably be different people who support one of the three more than the other options. Therefore, no matter which option I chose, two groups of people would disapprove. There is no way to win here. Attempting to please everyone is an impossible task. So why do we continue to make it a life goal?

2. Galatians 1:10, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. I mean, that's awfully self-explanatory. If I live my life striving to gain the approval of other people, I am not really serving Christ. I want to serve Christ with my whole heart, and that means letting go of my desire to make people happy in everything I do.

3. All we know is the here and now. You can make one decision with a particular set of expectations and then watch as none of it turns out the way you'd hoped. Life changes constantly. There is so much about the future that we just cannot know until we get there. So if you make a decision based solely on your own plan, or someone else's plan, be prepared for it to change along the way. Decisions that are made out of a desire to please other people are always shaky and unstable. 

"The fear of man proves to be a snare, 

but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." 

Proverbs 29:25

There are many fears that can drive our decisions if we're not careful. But all of them are rooted in a lack of trust in God. There is security in the unknown when we place our future in the hands of a God who already has a plan for our lives and truly wants the best for us. 

I love Psalm 16. The words of David here remind me that my security is in the Lord alone; there is nothing good outside of Him. I especially love verse four: "those who run after other gods will suffer more and more." Sometimes I prioritize pleasing other people above pleasing the Lord, which means I've made the approval of others a god, or idol, in my life. There is no security or joy in seeking to please others. It is temporary, fleeting, unreliable, and leaves you constantly seeking MORE. But entrusting every decision, big or small, to God will always bring deep satisfaction and a firm foundation to stand on, whether other people understand it or not.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Ask yourself: In this decision, how am I seeking the Kingdom of the God first?

[I really enjoyed Matthew Henry's commentary on Psalm 16. Check it out!]