Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
I say of the holy people who are in the land, "They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight." Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips.
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16
I remember lying on our living room floor recounting all the woes of fifth grade drama to my mom, who graciously listened and responded with an important life lesson: "Kailene, you can't be best friends with everyone." Oh how that broke my heart because even in my eleven year old mind I just wanted to make everybody happy and ensure that I was well liked. This is a thread that unfortunately has been woven into how I make decisions and how I view myself. On the outside it seems pretty nice; it's okay to be liked by people. In reality, this people-pleasing mentality is actually a destructive trap that distorts how we view God, ourselves, and others. How often do we feel "stuck" in a decision as a result of overly caring what others will think?
This is not to discredit godly wisdom from other people you trust. Proverbs talks a lot about the value of seeking counsel prior to making plans. The problem lies in putting more weight in what people think than where God directs, or in making a decision solely based on the desire to please people.
This is a theme that has come up several times in the past couple of weeks for me. While I know that I've had this subtle tendency to seek the approval of others for a long time, I also know it is an area that I've grown significantly in over the years. But when big decisions arise, this tendency often creeps up to the forefront of my mind. I have this underlying fear of doing something "wrong" and upsetting people I care about. This is where the trap comes in, from a few different directions...
1. You can never make everyone happy, NOR is that your responsibility. I care about people, but I am not responsible for their happiness. This has been a hard one for me to accept. If I have three options to choose from in making a major life decision, there will probably be different people who support one of the three more than the other options. Therefore, no matter which option I chose, two groups of people would disapprove. There is no way to win here. Attempting to please everyone is an impossible task. So why do we continue to make it a life goal?
2. Galatians 1:10, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. I mean, that's awfully self-explanatory. If I live my life striving to gain the approval of other people, I am not really serving Christ. I want to serve Christ with my whole heart, and that means letting go of my desire to make people happy in everything I do.
3. All we know is the here and now. You can make one decision with a particular set of expectations and then watch as none of it turns out the way you'd hoped. Life changes constantly. There is so much about the future that we just cannot know until we get there. So if you make a decision based solely on your own plan, or someone else's plan, be prepared for it to change along the way. Decisions that are made out of a desire to please other people are always shaky and unstable.
"The fear of man proves to be a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe."
Proverbs 29:25
There are many fears that can drive our decisions if we're not careful. But all of them are rooted in a lack of trust in God. There is security in the unknown when we place our future in the hands of a God who already has a plan for our lives and truly wants the best for us.
I love Psalm 16. The words of David here remind me that my security is in the Lord alone; there is nothing good outside of Him. I especially love verse four: "those who run after other gods will suffer more and more." Sometimes I prioritize pleasing other people above pleasing the Lord, which means I've made the approval of others a god, or idol, in my life. There is no security or joy in seeking to please others. It is temporary, fleeting, unreliable, and leaves you constantly seeking MORE. But entrusting every decision, big or small, to God will always bring deep satisfaction and a firm foundation to stand on, whether other people understand it or not.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Ask yourself: In this decision, how am I seeking the Kingdom of the God first?
[I really enjoyed Matthew Henry's commentary on Psalm 16. Check it out!]
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